There has been a lot happening the last few months, and because of that I haven’t posted. I was very sick, and I am starting to feel better. I am back at work, somedays I’m just so tired that I need to just sleep. About a month ago I got a call from the prosecutor, regarding the what Carter said Mary did. I thought they weren’t going to press charges. I mean I hadn’t heard from them, and the detective had said that they weren’t going to press charges.
What I failed to mention is that a family member called the detective and told him that Carter was lying, and that I put him up to it. My immediate family is not happy with me, they feel like I shouldn’t have called the police when Mary violated the restraining order. It is easy for them from a distance to say that. She threated to kill me, and she has physically attacked me in the past. To them it’s Mary she wouldn’t do that, yet she already has. Also, when I ignored things in the past, she just kept upping the ante. First it was text messages, then phone calls, then she was driving by where we live. Then it was her sitting outside of where we live. They didn’t live that, and to be fair I haven’t told them everything. For a while, something was happening everyday. Also, they don’t call and check up on us. When they do they don’t seem to want to know about anything. My father especially, he doesn’t like to talk about it.
I went and met with the prosecutor, and turn out they are pressing charges. They are pressing charges for not just the sexual abuse, but physical, and neglect as well. My family doesn’t want Carter to press charges, so I decided I wasn’t going to tell them this update. They would find out in time anyway, and I already had let them know that Carter wanted to press charges. No sense in starting the issue sooner then it needs to be.
I got a phone call from my father yesterday. I came home from work and I wasn’t feeling well. I fed Carter and I went and laid down. I don’t usually sleep well, so for me to actually fall asleep is a big deal. When my phone rang I had been asleep. I answered and he said that Mary was getting out of the hospital tomorrow. I said ok, thanks for letting me know. He then explained that if Mary contacts Carter that I should call him and he will deal with it, instead of calling the police. I replied with well I changes Carter’s phone number, so if no one gives Mary his number there won’t be an issue. He then started to say that there was more then one way of trying to communicate. That he was tired of all this drama, and that he would like things to settle down. He would like things to settle down? He doesn’t live it day in and day out for the last four years. Then I asked a question (now I was still half asleep trying to process everything he as saying), I asked where this was coming from. I meant it like, she violated the restraining order months ago, why are you bringing this all up now. He took it as I was insinuating that it came from my brother. He started to yell and me and tell me he was tired of this sh*t. That maybe he will just stop talking to everyone cause he doesn’t want to have to deal with this all. He said why do you have to ask so many questions, you are over analyzing it. I replied I asked one question. I have to say I remarkably calm, even though he was yelling at me. Then he said if you don’t want to do it just say screw you I’ll do what I want. I thought to myself, all I did was ask a question and you’re jumping down my throat. I tried to explain that he didn’t understand my question. However, he kept going on about how he understood, and it doesn’t matter where it was coming from. Whether it was my mom, or my brother, he was saying it so it was coming from him. He still wasn’t listening to me. He said you’re not going to obey me. Obey him? I am a grown woman, this isn’t about disobeying him, its about what is best for my son. Then it hit me and I said, okay so because Mary is getting out tomorrow, you are afraid she will try to contact us so that is what made you think of this now. He was still not listening to me, and he said I won’t call for updates, I just won’t call. To which I finally lost my temper and I said you don’t call. He said what does that mean, and I said you don’t call unless you need something. You don’t call to check up or talk to me. He kept going on and yelling and I hung up the phone. I hung up on him for the first time in my whole life.
Our family is being torn apart, and it is because of addiction and mental health. Sometimes I feel so alone, and then God