I haven’t written in a while. Not because there is nothing to write about, but because there is so much I don’t know what to say. I guess I will start from September.
Cater has been struggling with depression that isn’t new. I had been calling to get him into a psychiatrist and we finally got an appointment in mid September. This is where things started to get chaotic. While he was talking with the psychiatrist he disclosed that Mary had sexually abused him.
When I heard this my heart broke, it is so broke for Carter. I know all to well how hard it is to deal with sexual abuse. I know about the effects, and I’m just so sad for him. That he had to endure that.
This caused a series of events to occur. DCPP was called and they came out and then the police came to our apartment.
DCPP came out because Mary had been his primary care giver at the time the abuse occurred. Ironically, this time around they have been much more helpful. Maybe it’s because we live in a different county, I don’t know but I am grateful. They set up a psychological evaluation for Carter and trauma therapy.
The detective told me it was up to me if I wanted to press charges or not. I told the detective that no it was Carters choice, and I would do whatever he wanted. The detective talked to Carter and laid it all out for him. Told him how hard it would be to prosecute and really gave him all the angles. He wanted Carter to be prepared and not taken by surprise.
Carter wants to press charges. So he made a formal statement. We are waiting on the results from the grand jury. I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
The detective after Carter made the formal statement tried to make contact with Mary. To date she had yet to talk to the detective. I don’t understand how we live in a world where we can just get away with ignoring authorities. DCPP hasn’t been able to get ahold of her either. She’s not returning their calls. They are closing the investigation, and they can’t substantiate the allegations. Blows my mind, they can’t? They haven’t even talked to her. How is it she is just allowed to get away with this. She literally is avoiding the problem and getting away with it.
Well somehow one of my family members found out about the detective and talked to the detective on behalf of Mary. They told the detective that Carter was lying about the sexually abuse and that I put him up to it. I don’t think the word livid even comes close to describing how I’m feeling. She is the abuser. When I talked to my family member they said that they think Carter is making it up and that I put him up to it. I just can’t believe that after everything that’s what they think. I mean why would we do this now? Things are finally settling down.
Yesterday I took Carter to the psychological evaluation. my heart just breaks for everything he has had to endure. I pray for Gods peace and guidance in our lives. I pray that Carter will know that none of this is his fault.
The other hard part is our family. It is totally torn apart, no one wants Carter to press charges. They feel it is the wrong thing to do. They are worried it will push Mary over the edge and that she will kill herself. The truth is it isn’t about what’s best for Mary the abuser, it’s about what is best for Carter the victim. This Christmas season we are grieving a lot, and we have so much to be thankful for. God has provided for us and continues to. I thank am so grateful I have a God who cares for us.
A day in the life of a Kinship Carer 