Anxious about the future…

It’s funny how you want something so badly and then you get it and anxiety starts. I think Carter and I are both feeling that right now. I found out yesterday that we have a case management hearing scheduled for February 10th. We have been waiting almost two months for a new court date, and I’m glad it isn’t that far off. Carter doesn’t have to attend, so my plan was to avoid telling him. However, he of course as he has every single day since the last court hearing got canceled asked me if we got a court date. I explained that we did it’s a case management hearing and that he doesn’t have to be there. He had a hard time yesterday and today. He is acting out and anxious and I realize it is going to be a hard two weeks. To be honest I’m just as anxious. It’s a zoom hearing so that is good. At least I can sit in the comfort of my own home with my dog on my lap for comfort. This hearing will ultimately decide if I can adopt Carter right now or not. With Mary objecting it’s not a simple just go ahead. The worst that can happen is that they will says that Mary should have more time to get her life together, and that we will reevaluate at another time. Honestly, I’m worried about the hearing. I’m worried what the judge will say, and I honestly am thinking they will say smart should get more time. Our lawyer doesn’t seem to think that is likely, but we have had this same judge before. She had a soft spot for Mary, and had felt sorry for her. So I’m nervous… this is what Carter wants and at 14, I think what he wants should weigh heavily. I told my lawyer that Carter was open to keeping visits the same situation as now and that id still send updates to Mary regularly (which I do now and don’t have to). The situation would be she can got to therapy and work on her relationship with Carter. If their relationship got better and she was sober and stable she could actually spend time with him. We shall see what will really happen. Mary had a lot to prove to Carter. Our lawyer thinks that Mary has had plenty of time, and that since she hasn’t done one thing that’s been asked of her from the beginning that it will have a heavier weight and the judge will grant the adoption. Only time will tell.

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